Diglossos

I have a friend who says “Rules are meant to be broken.”  I disagree.  Rules are in place because people need to know their limitations.  Rules are there to ensure that you understand how you failed.  There are a lot of basic rules out there, and throughout my years of living I have come to learn them.  Most of them I learned the hard way.  Some of them I learned vicariously through the folly of others.  Regardless, these rules have been tested and verified.  I am putting forth my life learning results so that you, too, may benefit.

Today, we cover bar etiquette:

RULE:  Don’t Ever Ask For A Buy-back.

“What is a Buy-back?” you ask.  This is bar terminology.  It mostly applies in New York City and certain other major cities throughout the United States.  It is the “free” drink that you get after purchasing several drinks beforehand.  Normally the bartender will say, “This one is on me,” if you are paying-as-you-go, or you will notice that you are not charged for every drink when you get your bill.

A buy-back is a beautiful thing.  It shows that the bar staff likes you.  It is used as  encouragement to not only stay at the bar longer but also to come back.  There are two important factors that determine whether you have earned a buy-back:

• Tipping:   Do it.  There are no exceptions. A dollar per drink is standard.

• Friendliness: There is no excuse for being mean to people who are serving you.

Do these things, and there should be no problem getting a buy-back.  This applies at all times, whether you are in the United States or not.  It is also important to note that the buy-back does not have to come in the form of a free round of drinks.  It can also show up as a free shot, food, gift certificates or other certain VIP perks.  I have gotten free drink certificates for another bar.  All are equally good.

You should never, ever, feel that you can request a buy-back.  It is like calling up Santa Claus and asking, “Where is my gift?”  The answer is that it is earned.  The buy-back is a show of appreciation. That’s all. And not everyone offers it.  If you go to a restaurant, most don’t really ever give buy-backs.  The bar is there to serve you a drink while you are waiting to be seated, not necessarily for long-term partying.  Consider a bar in a hotel to be pretty much like a bar in a restaurant.  It’s also there for convenience, and they really don’t care if you to come back.

Another reason why requesting a buy-back can be a bad idea is that the staff may not like you.  You will realize this when people are struggling to smile in your presence.  They aren’t really laughing at your jokes.  They are giving you very little attention.  When you see these signs, you need to leave.  Not only do they not want you there now;  they don’t want you back ever.

So, don’t ever request or expect a buy-back.  This is simple and essential in social relations.  Keeping the two important factors of tipping and friendliness in mind will make you a pleasure to be around the world over, too.  This leads to free stuff in general – and not just drinks.  Now go out there and have fun.

© CongoKing, 2009